Oh, right LJ exists. I get most of my everything out over on Plurk and I'd feel horrible about spamming that constantly on LJ, so I don't really do that.

New things in my life:

-- Field school was amazing, and not surprisingly, I loved working in the lab most. That was only a week though, but I'll probably volunteer in there after this summer session.

-- I'm taking World Civ 3 atm (1800-present). I have so many mixed feelings about this.

-- I've kind of started seeing someone from high school. I've got mixed feelings about this as well. I'm excited about it, but that's scaring me. I'm not sure how any of this works.

-- I got an email from school saying that if I finish the classes I'm enrolled in, I'll graduate in August. I have to email back to get confirmation on everything, but I'm super hopeful.

-- Kuroi moved in a few weeks ago. 4 kittehs in house now. It's a crazy household these days.

... That's all for now. o/

I've lost the touchstone for my life. I need a ground, and I can't find it. It feels a little like being swept under by an ocean wave and toss around under the water. It's disorienting and a little terrifying and all sense of how to find the surface is lost. The worst part is usually knowing that you're standing in shallow water and you could breach the waves if you could just figure out where to put your feet.

... But yeah... right now... I'm just tumbling in a wave.

Mahi-mahi marinated in a raspberry vinaigrette, grilled.
Saffron, yellow rice.
Cajun spiced zucchini, sauteed.
Sweet potato with butter and brown sugar.
Cornbread sticks.
Red wine.

I didn't think to take pictures until after I had inhaled half of it. Most amazing meal ever. Man, the cooking nights in this house make me so super happy.

Poll #1638486 NaNo-ish
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4

Polling about possibilities

Various stages of :|a on these.

Flames of Faith: I have a lot on this one, but I also don't know if I have enough on to start building the developmental chapters for it. I have the main conflict finally hammered out, but the introductions to the characters and developing them into people that others will love as well... not so well thought out yet. :/

Aeo-Iorek: Based on an old RP that Kuroi and I had. It didn't go very far and was more plotting than execution, but I've asked if I can flesh it out sometime, and NaNo isn't a horrible time to do that.

Outlaw Blues: Somewhere on the internet I'm sure the first shitty attempt at this story still exists. This is not necessarily a good thing, but I'm probably going to take main ideas out of that and scrap that crap where it belonged in the first place. It... definitely needs a lot of love and attention, which I haven't given it in... 10 years.

Lochlin-Qwinn: The only record I have of this is a fiction that I wrote a few years ago for one of Alison's challenges. I think the characters were originally developed for a round robin story, which never happened. I like the characters though, and I'd like to do more with them. This... is not thought out well at all, but it has some potential. I'd probably need to do a lot of think this out time before I got to writing, and Qwinn might possibly end up being crazy at the end. :|a

Lit Review: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

oh for the love of ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

This has seriously been a bad week for my faith in humanity.


Top 10 Evil Human Experiments

My teacher has high hopes for my research paper. It kind of terrifies me. She wants to share it with people who are not in my class. This terrifies me even more. I haven't even WRITTEN it yet. I don't do well with expectations. I've been procrastinating. The rough draft is due Friday. I haven't finished the synthesis matrix. This is the exact opposite of how I normally write my papers. I don't like this.

Can I just fall off the planet until this is over?



Oh, and one of the classes I need to graduate is only offered in the Spring semester... of even years. I really hate this campus sometimes. T_T

It's really hard to feel good about doing well on a test when all but two of the people in the class made over 100 on it.

Serious question in need of serious consideration and reply. ... Seriously.


So, LJ's lovely highlight communities reminded me that November is coming up along with the infamous NaNoWriMo. I have seen this event come and go for 5 years now, and marveled at the writers who devote themselves to it.

I have things I wish to write.

I have been putting things off for 10 years.

I have roleplay which conflicts heavily to my ability to write anything coherent that is not involved with roleplay.

I also have school which will be conflicting with the writing potential of both novel and roleplay as finals approach in November/December.



I know roleplay conflicts heavily with my writing. I have known this since I first started it a lifetime ago. I really love writing, and I really want to try writing, but I don't know if I can function without RP. Wow that really makes me sound pathetic. I may not have to pass on RP entirely, but I do know that it becomes a constant distraction.

I think I could pull it off with a week or two of true hiatus from RP, to get my mind away from it for a while and then a semi-hiatus for the rest of the time. I would probably have to start the full hiatus before November in order to get mentally prepared to actually write.

Is it bad that the idea of being completely inactive in RP communities scares me horribly right now?

So... I guess I just want opinions thoughts and feed back from y'all. Do I cut ties for a while and see if I can actually write something that isn't RP or academia?

Quick answers, here:

Poll #1627963 NaNo
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

Should I put roleplay aside for a month and attempt NaNoWriMo this year?

Feel free to expand in comments. I... would really like to discuss this possibility. If anyone would like to join me in this endeavor, let me know. I'll likely shift over to digitalinkstain if I do try this.

...

Talk to meeeeeeeeee. ;o;

It's really weird sometimes. It's not as though I don't want to write in my journal; it's just that I never seem to find the time to.

Life is busy. I'm taking 4 classes this semester: World Civilizations, Cultural Geography, Social Statistics, and Writing for the Social Sciences. I feel very out of place in all of them. I'm still fighting with financial aid, trying to figure out wth is wrong with my pin so I can sign my master promissory note and get my loan money.

Work is about to drive me insane. I have 12 hours scheduled this week. Last week I only had 4. I nearly flipped a table.

I have AWA this weekend. I'm really looking forward to it. I still don't know if I'm going to be getting more than a 1 day pass, but I intend to hang out with people as much as possible. I am limiting myself to Artist Alley only: 2 major commissions (20-50), 2 minor (5-10), and 1 OMIGOD HAVE TO HAVE THAT purchase. I really shouldn't even be doing that much.

I've been in a weird place relationship wise -- where for the first time in a very long time, I'm actually wanting to be in one. I refuse to go looking for people to date because I just... have a thing against it, but I'd like to... just... ffffffffffffffff fuck if I know. It'd just be really nice to have someone there.

I think I'm starting to feel my age... that, or depression... or both. I need a change at least. I've been living in this town too long again. Dead end hole and the only way out is to run and never look back.